it's 27th AGAIN!

wow.. more than a month has passed and i still feel like crap. ok.. so many things have happened i dunno where to start.. so i won't. all i can say is.. why should i bother about someone who doesn't bother about me anymore? i think my heart has felt so much pain that it is almost numb already lor. i can't believe i let $27(ironically) worth of good food go to waste 'coz of my fucking emotions!!

anyway.. went night cycling with ben and gary and around 100 other people from west coast to east coast just now!! such an accomplishment.. haha.. it was their church thingy lahz.. it was fun.. helped me take my mind off stuff.. we stopped alot along the way actually and i have to say that esplanade is super romantic at night!!! and so is the stadium waterfront near cosy bay.. *sighz* everytime i think of a happy memory all the sms-es and hurtful stuff just comes along with it. whatever.

oh ya.. with all the blinking front and back lights of all the bicycles it looked like a disco on wheels.. lolz.. i wanna go RUSH~! then there was this girl who was my junior from kc totally like following in my footsteps lor.. same CCA, same pri and sec sch.. and even same course in same poly now!! it's so freaky but cool!!
hopefully she won't follow the drop out part.. haha..

actually had alot more things to write but i'm tired in every sense.. i just hope i can let go of my hatred.. 'coz indifference, not hate, is the opposite of love. i guess it's time for me to get new memories to replace the old ones? actually.. thinking about it.. i don't wanna forget.. 'coz we had so much happiness it would be a waste to forget it. but i definitely wanna replace it though. so this is my last post that will have anything to do with the past. i'm an emotional wreck now.. time to get my beauty sleep already!! if i don't look after myself wait nobody want me.. =X

i want short term memory!!!

Rush wasn't as fun as expected.. Everyone was abit sianz 'coz of all the xiao ah lians and xiao ah bengs.. Plus I was just in a very crappy mood.. In fact, this whole week I've been in a crappy mood.. I'm actually starting to think maybe if I was hit by that glass that day, it would have been a good thing.. Don't get me wrong.. I do not wanna die.. I love life too much for that.. But it would be great if I could just get a concussion or be in a coma and then I could just stay in bed all day and don't even have to think of anything!! Even better if I could just lose my memory!!! That would be so great.. Seriously, memories are very evil things.. You can just be so happy and out enjoying yourself and it just hits you without warning. And it hurts. So ya.. If only there was some kinda hypno-therapist or whatever.. Anything that can make me lose my memory.. Anything!!

Haiz.. Anyway, so we left Rush at about 3.30am then I went with Guowei and his friend, Gary, over to MU again 'coz Guowei's friend was celebrating his birthday there. I just didn't wanna go home lahz. But when we reached there his friends eating so we went over to Cuppage the prata shop to find them. Talked awhile.. Then back to MU, which closed after awhile.. Then we went to Bone again.. Saw Charles again and this time had breakfast with him and his cousin, last time Club 3 DJ and I only realised yesterday that he is also the MU DJ!! Lolz.. Dunno why couldn't recognise him.. Waited for Guowei's friends to come down then talked awhile more.. Left around 7.15am.. Heng ah, missed the 7.30am charge..

Today was totally bad.. didn't do much, basically just being a bitch and whining, whining, whining.. Anyway, here's Angele's lil quiz thingy..

01) What is the phone brand? : Samsung
02) What are the last 3 digits of your mobile number?: 5740
3) What does the 2nd message in your inbox say?: it's a sweet poem that edwin took like 25 mins to think of ;p
4) Who's the first person who comes up under theletter M?: MANO..my workplace security gaurd..haha!
05) Who's the last person you rang?: my dad..-_-"
06) Who was your last missed call from?: william
07) Who's the 2nd person who comes up under D?: dar's mum..dun ask me why..
08) What does the last message in your inbox say?: fowarded msg from adeline
09)Who comes up under J?: let me count..32 people!!!
10) Go to your Sent Items - what does the 5th message say?:wanna meet up at pw slack awhile later?
11) Who's the 4th person who comes up under S?: see see from my workplace
12) Who's your network provider?: starhub
13) How many messages are currently in your inbox?: 82
14) What do you have as your background:my lil cousin and me
15) Who's the 2nd person who comes up under R?: rain
16) Who do you have on speed dial 3?: dun use speed dial
17) If you're on Pay as you Go, how much credit do you have?: guess this does not apply to me.
18) Who's the first person who comes up under C?: carmen my colleague
19) How many bars of signal do you currently have?: 6
20) What do you have as your main ringtone?: Just Another Day

See what I mean about memories being bad and all?? Just doing this stupid quiz made me sad already.. Hmph.. And I realised from Angele's blog that TODAY was Big Walk.. *screamz* This is so fucking irritating..

years go by and i'm asking myself why.. is it worth.. this pain.. i don't wanna go insane..

the old and new MU

I deleted my last post 'coz I felt there was too much bitterness and anger in those few lines.. Maybe I brought this whole thing upon myself so I guess it's time for me to stop being so childish and stupid.. Haiz.. Just finished my midnight OT.. So shagged but can't sleep.. Argh!!! I'm so fucking fed up with myself already lahz..

Anyway, Thurs night went to MU after work.. It's like so qiao lor.. I messaged Ivy to ask her to go then after she said cannot Guowei called me and asked me to go.. Lolz.. So I met Elaine, Jeff and Guowei outside MU then we all went in together.. The place changed so much lor!! Now they give out these lucky draw coupons to the ladies and 3 lucky girls get to spin the lucky draw wheel every week.. Like so fun!!

We sat somewhere behind the DJ console.. Smoked alot, drank even more.. And I thought I ran out of tears.. Really have to stop all my nonsense already lahz.. Thanks to you guys for taking care of me, especially my darling Elaine.. Sorry for making you worry.. =X

Then we were at the dance floor for like 3 mins(?) when suddenly the crowd dispersed and we realised there was a fight!! So excited lor.. Lolz.. I kept trying to go nearer to see what was happening until.. I saw a glass flying.. Hurrily pulled Elaine back to our table there.. And the glass hit one beng who was involved in the fight lor!! He was sitting just two tables away from us.. So poor thing.. He very funny lehz.. Obviously in pain but still wanna act tough and still wanted to fight back.. And.. Their management sucks!!!! Wah lau.. People fight hor.. Like as if nothing happened like that wan lehz!! Just kept on playing their music and the bouncers didn't even come till like 10 mins later!! They didn't even attend to the poor injured beng!!!!!! Kaoz.. Like that if people seriously injured can just die there while waiting for the management to do anything lor.. If it was Rush they would have stopped the music at the slightest hint of a fight.. Rush still rules!! And Jeff wasn't too happy with one of the people there too.. 'Coz the guy really got fucked up attitude lor.. So I guess it'll be quite awhile before they wanna go back there again.. But I don't mind it lahz.. It was fun!!

Oh yah.. Guowei saw two of his friends there then after MU closed we all went to the old MU together.. Lolz.. It's now called B-One or Ying Huang(?) in chinese.. I was kinda excited 'coz never went there before plus Guowei told me DJ Charles, who used to be the Rush DJ, was spinning there.. Then halfway there Jeff and Elaine decided to go back 'coz I guess they were kinda tired.. So it was just the 3 of them and me.. One of Guowei's friends damn funny lor.. He was like asking us to rate his dancing then I just said I didn't see and his reply was.. " Wah, you're the first girl in MU who never see me dance lehz!" Hahaha.. BHB!!

When we reached there I went to talk to Charles.. Think he also quite surprised to see me after so freaking long.. We stayed till closing then he offered to ride me home but I paiseh!! =X So stayed with them till their first train then i took a cab home..

Really happy lehz.. I really should go club more often.. Oh yah.. Going Rush tonight!! Hee.. Who wanna go message me ah!! Now I think I can finally sleep liaoz!~~ =P

PS : Try to bear with my terrible blog layout I'll try to change it ASAP!!

funny day

Ok.. This was supposed to be a fun post 'coz everything that happened today was mostly fun but then I came home and did a stupid thing and now I just feel like crap. But since I've already typed out the title I guess I should just continue.. Maybe blogging can help me to stop thinking of anything..

Ok.. I went to this spa thingy with 2 of my colleagues after work just now.. Its at bugis village the 2nd floor there and its called Inizio. Do not ever go there.. This is the treatment I went for..

Haiz.. Sounds nice right? So disappointing lor. First, the 3 of us went for the 'detox steam' which was just a normal steam bath, after which we went into separate rooms for the body scrub which was just a normal scrub which I could do myself and I must add that they did not let us choose for the scrub, mask OR jet bath. After that, I went to wash off and the so called 'rain shower' was actually more or less a normal shower head but slightly bigger. Then proceeded to the hydro jet bath which is actually a mini jacuzzi, and they made me stay in there listening to mostly static 'coz they probably couldn't receive the FM stations from there and by the time I got out my hands were chapped and I was really cold. Then off for the body mask which actually felt pretty much like the scrub but had a tea egg smell which kinda made me hungry.. I know, I'm a pig! =X Then the girl wrapped me up with the thermal blanket which felt really nice and warm since I was cold, and she stood there trying to sell me some slimming package but I guess I wasn't really responsive so she just said she'll be back in 20 mins. I fell asleep 'coz I was so damn freaking tired and when I woke up.. I felt like I was in hell. Wah lau!!! The blanket felt like some fire thing wrapping around me lor.. It's 10 times hotter than my slimming gel so I got kinda scared I would be burnt to death there and then!! Luckily the woman came back and although I voiced my fear she told me to tahan 5 mins and during that long long 5 mins I was basically just squirming and praying that nothing would happen to me!!! Then back to the shower and finally can change and go off.. But nooo, she just had to push her package once again but luckily I was in a hurry to meet someone so didn't have time to listen or I might just have signed up for a package (those who know me would know how easily persuaded I am)..

I can tell you this.. I haven't been to alot of spas but I have been to at least 4, and this is the worst one so far.. I will never go back there again.. One more thing I forgot to add.. Their showers are adjoining and if you don't actually lock the other side the other person can just walk in on you. I can tell you that they definitely did not lock the door or point out to me that it had to be locked. Luckily I saw it if not, there goes my modesty!! Haha.. And they never clean the shower one.. I could still see white patches of dried scrub or mask bits on the floor lor.. Haiz.. Such a waste 'coz the decor is really nice..

Then went to meet one of my Yahoo! buyers and she was so sweet and friendly and just happened that we were going the same way so talked to her abit on the MRT and.. She offered me a job.. Lolz.. Still not sure what I wanna do yet so ya.. Still have alot of thinking to do about it..

Then went to meet Jace and Jas.. I tell you, I'm so pro!!! My bank account has a grand total of only $14+ left and I STILL managed to buy 4 tops, one pair of shorts and 2 undies.. Hehe.. All thanks to my Isetan vouchers and my prepaid Fox card!~ Happy..

We went to Coffee Bean to chill after dinner. Just sat there crapping and playing daidee and updating each other and laughing till our sides hurt and the people at the other table kept looking at us.. Haven't laughed so much in a long long time.. I love my babes.. I can just totally forget EVERYTHING when I'm with them.

Wanted to write more details, but now I somehow don't have the mood to anymore. I definitely feel better after blogging though.. Plus all the advice from my friends.. I know now what I really have to do and just force myself to do it. I wish I could listen to Harriet but sometimes being happy is not enough.. Plus everything else inside of me.. I'm not sure what will make me happy anymore. Next month I will be a better person.. I might or might not be happy.. But at least there would be some kind of relief(?).. I dunno.. What would it be like to go for confession after nearly 3 years.. I really dunno.. I just wish things could be different..

lost fanatic

oh my god!!! i just watched lost and it's so fucking interesting!!! the suspense is killing me!!! btw.. i don't mean i watched the show on tv.. i just watched the 2nd last episode of season 2!!!! ahhhhhhhh... i don't think i can sleep tonight till i've watched the last episode!!!!!

ok.. just wanted to share my excitement with you all.. byeeee..

this is for my 'loyal readers'

Lolz.. You all so fast already getting so demanding ah.. It's only been 2 days since I last blogged lehz.. =X And I've been fucking tired!!!! Yesterday and today did morning shift plus OT till 10pm.. and 2 more morning shifts to go with one more OT on Sunday!! *faints* My poor feet..

Funny lehz.. I work there almost a year already and yesterday was the first time I did OT. Yesterday was horrible!! The customers were all fucked up (more about that later) and the team I was working with was so annoying.. Most of them perpetually look like they just ate 10 sour plums at once.. Kns.. So tough working with them! Today was better 'coz of my darling Irene!! But the customers were still fucked up..

Which brings me to my discovery of the year.. My customers more or less do not make use of their senses at all.

1.They are blind.

Customer standing in front of Shiseido counter looking around for help. When I approach her, she asks me, "Do you have Shiseido here?" !!!!!! Don't laugh lor, it happens all. the. time. And today one asshole even asked me whether we sell perfumes!! Like, how dense can these people get??! It's called PERFUMES AND COSMETICS for a reason. And I didn't call him asshole just 'coz he's dumb. He made me fucking irritated today!! Ask me introduce perfumes, I let him try 10, all 10 also don't like! Somemore take and put back, take and put back.. And want dirt cheap prices.. Please lahz.. Go Mustafa better lor..

2.They are deaf.

This one can forgive lahz.. It's quite cute actually.. Whenever we bring customers to the cashier we have to ask for their flight number, but sometimes they try to give me their phone or credit card number. Haha.. Maybe there's just a problem with my pronunciation..

3.They can't smell!

This is just my personal opinion but sometimes when I let them try perfume which you could probably smell a mile away, they tell me they can't smell anything.. I work in that shop the whole damn day so if I can smell something I don't see why they can't.

4.They are mute.

On purpose of course. Those idiots. These are the ones I hate the most.. You can talk talk talk or even just ask a simple yes/no question and they will just simply ignore you.. Or maybe they are under the deaf category?

Ok.. I can't think of anything for sense of touch but I know my customers definitely have no brains!! Need I explain more? Haiz.. Actually got alot more things to complain about but now no time I need to get my beauty sleep!! All I can say is, luckily I'm not like my friend who has to go smoke everytime a customer gets on my nerves if not I'll probably be dead by now! My way of relieving stress is to keep cursing and swearing at them silently and I'll occasionally daydream of torturing them.. *evil laugh* It really helps!! =x

careless girl

I just woke up from 14 hours of sleep!! I haven't slept that long in a long loooong time.. Feels so good!! Okok, updates!

On Sat, went to Rush.. So long never go I almost forgot how to dance already lor.. Hehe.. My friends say 2 weeks is not long but for those who always go Rush you all can understand what I mean when I say long right?? By the time i went there (after work) most of them sehz already lor.. 'Coz it was Nick's birthday then they drink drink drink.. Lolz.. Basically the whole night I was sticking with Xiao Huang 'coz she came with me and she was bored, but towards the end someone kinda gave me some advice.. Haiz.. Feel so confused again.. Luckily I'm quite a stubborn person.. =x

We left Rush around 3.30am to go watch movie with Sherlyn and her friend Dexter, but in the end when we reached there Xiao Huang say she don't wanna watch movie so we went to eat supper first, then Xiao Huang went home and Dexter called his friend to come watch the movie with us. I tell you.. Don't watch Bewitching Attraction!! It's one of the worst Korean shows I've ever watched!! Ok, make that one of the worst shows I've ever watched. And since I'm a movie freak and I like most of the shows you should know when I say it's bad, it's really bad.. Sucky.. I told Sherlyn we should have watched Find Me Guilty instead!! So after that lousy show Dexter and his friend wanted to go eat, but we were quite tired so he sent us home..

Then Sunday and Monday work work work.. boring..

Yesterday.. I went to Batam!! Took alot of pictures but the sad thing is.. I lost the device that transfers the pictures to my computer!!! So irritating lahz.. And I lost my shades too!! Somemore it's brand new and I haven't even worn it before!! *sobz* So fucking careless.. I shouldn't have left the device thingy in the pouch together with the camera.. Think it dropped out somewhere 'coz I kept taking my camera out.. So anyway.. will blog about the Batam trip as soon as I get a new transfer device thingy.. =(

no money and no honey =(

Ahhhhh!!!*screamz*Die liaoz.. It's only the 5th and my money is depleting rapidly!!!! =(

Yesterday I went to the airport to send my Auntie off 'coz she was going back to Australia then I used my airport pass to go in and buy some stuff from my perfume shop.. Guess how much I spent?!! 530 freaking dollars!!! Some more that was after discount.. =x

And that's not all.. I also went to splurge on this very nice Guess bag..

Nice nice nice??!!! It's actually $94 but i managed to get discount only paid $76!!! I know it's stupid and impulsive 'coz I'm running short of cash but I don't care!!! Wo xi huan!!! Hee.. So happy.. Jace nearly killed me when she found out the price.. =X

Then went home and had to rush to get ready 'coz supposed to watch movie with Irene and Jasmin (my colleagues) and Jasmin's bf.. Tried to curl my hair but ended up looking like a mess so I tried to straighten it back then became even worse!! So I just fuck care and went down 'coz Jasmin's bf drove them over to fetch me.. Last min her bf's friend also came then never book movie ticket for him lucky just nice got one left.. Watched mi:3.. Very nice!!! Tom Cruise and that English guy who also acted in Matchpoint (can't remember his name) DAMN droolsome lor!!! =P~~ Abit unbelievable but what you expect from a show like that.. got 2 cute guys I happy liaoz.. Hehe.. Then there was this crucial moment in the show that it was kinda quiet then this lady kept talking loudly in some other language then another guy just said "SHUT UP LAH!" then everybody in the cinema laughed.. So that kinda spoilt the moment.. Lolz.. But it WAS funny lah..

After that we went to play pool for awhile then went to the Bencoolen Kopitiam to eat supper but like nothing nice to eat there.. Saw a few ah kuas though.. Hah.. So we decided to go Geylang to eat instead and finally settled on the famous soya bean shop.. I ordered xiao long bao but their one no soup inside lor!! Like all dry.. But not bad lahz.. Still quite nice.. Went home around 5 like that..

Then just now around 4 plus then woke up.. Went to shop(!!!) with Jace and Jas.. No money still wanna shop.. Bought a very very nice pair of sunglasses!! Next time then show you all.. Hee.. Went to Billy Bombers for "dinner" around 10.. I wanted to go watch movie but due to unfortunate circumstances (Jace had to wake up early the next day and Jas only wanted to go Phuture) we went to Phuture instead..

Phuture quite boring at first.. So we went over to Zouk 'coz Paul Oakenfold was there.. Jas was like kinda excited but I couldn't care less.. But his music IS kinda nice lahz.. Even though its TRANCE (Iwant techno!!!!!).. So after awhile we all went back to Phuture again.. Dance till my heels nearly break and my feet aching like hell lor!! Wah lau.. I'm not gonna wear heels to club for a long long time.. Tomorrow go back to work think I can't chiong for sales already.. My poor feet..

So yup.. Now I'm back home and sad 'coz I realised I spent so much by the time Great Singapore Sale comes (which is soon) I no more money to shop already!! *sobz* What to do.. Retail therapy is the only therapy i can get.. =))

so sick

yes.. the song(by ne-yo) got one thing right.. i'm so fucking sick of love songs!!!

what else??

i'm sick of being sad..
i'm sick of being pissed..
i'm sick of wishing and hoping..
i'm sick of crying in the bathroom, on my bed, in the cab.. everywhere!!
i'm sick of seeing couples..
i'm sick of feeling helpless..
i'm sick of needing..
i'm sick of wanting..
i'm sick of being contradicting..

argh!!! i really cannot stand it anymore!!! wtf is wrong with me?!!!

i'm so damn sick of myself.

a very very nice clip >_<

Yesterday I went to watch Aquamarine at Cine with my colleagues.. It's not bad.. Very good for watching with your girl pals.. Plus there was this gorgeous guy with a to-die-for body in the show!! *sighz* I'm liking ang mohs more and more everyday!! But the show really got me thinking about one thing.. how do mermaids reproduce?? They don't have the human reproduction organ and I don't think they have the fish one either!! So anybody care to enlighten me on that? Unless.. they come out of the water, turn into humans, give birth and then go back into the ocean with their mer-baby!! Lolz.. Just a thought.. And I did a very stupid thing lor!! Before the show we went to draw money and i withdrew $1000 by accident!!! Kaoz.. how stupid right?!! So I walked around the whole night literally treating my bag as though there was gold inside!! So dumb lor.. I think i pressed $500 before but luckily that time not enough money.. Just nice yesterday i just got my pay.. Haha..

Anyway, after the show we went downstairs and I saw some people.. Dunno if it's considered as fate or NO fate.. but whatever.

Wanna know how i make myself happy nowadays? I look at this clip..

Warning: People who have an extreme dislike for techno and bengs (namely, Jasmine) please do not press play or suffer the consequences.



Haha.. Sorry to all the people who hate techno but I came across this in Ivy's blog and I stole it from her.. So actually people who read her blog must have seen it already. Hehe.. So smooth lor the way he dance!! I watched it more than 3 times and all the time i was smiling away!! Wonder why he don't wanna show his face though.. maybe he sibei ugly.. =X Actually even though his moves very nice and all I think he like abit slow lehz.. Plus my friend dances nicer.. But I don't have a clip of my friend so I'll just make do with slow but nice!

I'm gonna sleep now. Tomorrow working morning.. =(

Hmm.. maybe I'll go watch the clip again first. =P