Thanksgiving

Didn't I say that everything's gonna be alright?

Well, it's actually way better than alright now, more like awesome!

I just thought that I should write this so that whoever is actually still reading my blog would know that there's always hope, no matter how dire the circumstances.

I didn't wanna mention this earlier because I felt like it might have been my wishful thinking, but when I prayed, I felt like God was telling me everything would be okay by Oct. And it is.

So, this is me giving thanks and some sort of testimony I guess.

Have faith, guys.

Blame it on the Night

I love the night and yet, it's the nights that feel the worse. I guess it's because there's nothing much to distract or occupy me at night and all the thoughts which I suppress during the day just floods my mind.

The doubts that fill me are many, but I know I'll be alright in a couple of hours. Hope is the most beautiful thing to me right now. I just don't know how many more of these nights I can take before it loses its beauty.

I'm scared.

What Happens When You Lose the Love of Your Life

You finally met THE ONE and everything fell into place. You didn’t see him as your boyfriend, but as the man you were going to marry. He said you were a team, that he would fight anything to be with you, that he had never met anyone who fit him as well as you did.

But then shit happened. Love wasn’t enough, not when there was a whole other load of external circumstances to contend with. Things beyond your control, things beyond his control.

And something that you’d thought would never end, did.

Suddenly, all those sad love songs make sense. You’d always scoffed at “Someone Like You”, wondering why the hell you’d wanna find someone like your ex. Wishing him the best? No way in hell! Now you nod sagely like you’ve attained enlightenment and sing sadly along when you hear it. 

Likewise, all those cliché love quotes which sounded so dumb actually becomes.. Legit. “Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.” *nods* “If you love someone, let them go. If it’s meant to be, they will come back.” *nods*

You used to get over breakups easily, speeding up the process by dating again. But now, you don’t even want to date because you know you will end up comparing all of them to him and ending up in tears. You also don’t want to taint the relationship the both of you had, with something less meaningful.

Another thing you never understood was why people kept photos or items which contain memories of their exes; you always threw and deleted anything that contained memories because those were the worst. This time around, you get it. You just want to keep any piece of them that you have left, anything to substantiate the fact that the relationship happened. It’s not something you want to forget, but something you will always want to remember.

You realize that love doesn’t conquer all. Those fairy tales do not exist. Prince Charming will not come and sweep you off your feet for a happy ending. Things aren’t that simple. So, you fight. You be the heroine of your own story. You pray, pray that those circumstances will eventually change and you can be together again. You wait, not because you are unable to find another partner, but because you do not want to settle now that you know what love really feels like.

It won’t be easy, but it’ll be worth it.



This was the original post I submitted before Thought Catalog edited the paragraphing and font. I also wanna add that I used to think the length of time a couple is together is important to determine how much you love each other, but I was wrong. I just knew with him. The feeling was totally different and I had never been surer of any relationship before.

But ya, shit happens. And I'm not gonna be any less positive because of that. Because faith and hope come together with love.

Everything's Gonna Be Alright

Ok, no more emo shit. At least not on this blog.

When I pray, I know everything's gonna be okay. We just need a little more faith and patience. I know it's easier said than done, but isn't that what faith is about? Believing even when it seems impossible. You know nothing is impossible to Him.

I'm gonna be patient and be happy. Because everything will be alright, in His time.

The Sun Will Come Out, Tomorrow.

It's raining again.

I wanted to list down everything I miss about you but I decided to do that in the other blog, the one where I write to you everyday, the one which only you will be able to see one day. 

I'm starting to feel a little distant and I'm scared. I wonder if you still think about me. I wonder if you still think about us. Because I do. All the time.

I'm starting to doubt myself. Am I doing the right thing? For me, for you and for us? (This just reminded me of the Michael Jackson references you used to make.) Sigh.

I'm so angry with myself for being emotional but it's just one of those days. I'll be okay tomorrow. Tomorrow will be a better day.

下雨天

下雨天了怎么办 我好想你
我不敢打给你 我找不到原因
为什么失眠的声音 变得好熟悉
沉默的场景 做你的代替
陪我听雨停

期待让人越来越沉溺
谁和我一样 等不到他的谁
爱上你我总在学会 寂寞的滋味
一个人撑伞 一个人擦泪 一个人好累

怎样的雨 怎样的夜
怎样的我能让你更想念
雨要多大 天要多黑
才能够有你的体贴
其实没有我你分不出哪些差别
结局那还能多明显
别说你会难过 别说你想改变
被爱的人不用道歉

期待让人越来越疲惫
谁和我一样 等不到他的谁
爱上你我总在学会 寂寞的滋味
一个人撑伞 一个人擦泪 一个人好累

Have faith

Just like that, it's been a month already. It's been a month only. I feel as though months have passed and everything still reminds me of you. Not that I don't want to be reminded, but sometimes it's too much to take. Hence, the distractions such as dramas or books. 

I tell myself to stay strong and positive, to have faith and believe, things I used to tell you. I can't even imagine how you must be feeling if I'm already feeling this way. I just wish I could be with you through this and it hurts me coz I know you're hurting. 

Have faith and hold on k? I'm rooting for you. We all are.