Blame it on the Night

I love the night and yet, it's the nights that feel the worse. I guess it's because there's nothing much to distract or occupy me at night and all the thoughts which I suppress during the day just floods my mind.

The doubts that fill me are many, but I know I'll be alright in a couple of hours. Hope is the most beautiful thing to me right now. I just don't know how many more of these nights I can take before it loses its beauty.

I'm scared.

What Happens When You Lose the Love of Your Life

You finally met THE ONE and everything fell into place. You didn’t see him as your boyfriend, but as the man you were going to marry. He said you were a team, that he would fight anything to be with you, that he had never met anyone who fit him as well as you did.

But then shit happened. Love wasn’t enough, not when there was a whole other load of external circumstances to contend with. Things beyond your control, things beyond his control.

And something that you’d thought would never end, did.

Suddenly, all those sad love songs make sense. You’d always scoffed at “Someone Like You”, wondering why the hell you’d wanna find someone like your ex. Wishing him the best? No way in hell! Now you nod sagely like you’ve attained enlightenment and sing sadly along when you hear it. 

Likewise, all those cliché love quotes which sounded so dumb actually becomes.. Legit. “Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.” *nods* “If you love someone, let them go. If it’s meant to be, they will come back.” *nods*

You used to get over breakups easily, speeding up the process by dating again. But now, you don’t even want to date because you know you will end up comparing all of them to him and ending up in tears. You also don’t want to taint the relationship the both of you had, with something less meaningful.

Another thing you never understood was why people kept photos or items which contain memories of their exes; you always threw and deleted anything that contained memories because those were the worst. This time around, you get it. You just want to keep any piece of them that you have left, anything to substantiate the fact that the relationship happened. It’s not something you want to forget, but something you will always want to remember.

You realize that love doesn’t conquer all. Those fairy tales do not exist. Prince Charming will not come and sweep you off your feet for a happy ending. Things aren’t that simple. So, you fight. You be the heroine of your own story. You pray, pray that those circumstances will eventually change and you can be together again. You wait, not because you are unable to find another partner, but because you do not want to settle now that you know what love really feels like.

It won’t be easy, but it’ll be worth it.



This was the original post I submitted before Thought Catalog edited the paragraphing and font. I also wanna add that I used to think the length of time a couple is together is important to determine how much you love each other, but I was wrong. I just knew with him. The feeling was totally different and I had never been surer of any relationship before.

But ya, shit happens. And I'm not gonna be any less positive because of that. Because faith and hope come together with love.