old flame

Due to overwhelming requests for me to blog more, here i am!! And the topic for today is.. the past.

I went out with my ex just now. The very first one. They always say that the first one is the one you love the most, but I think for both of us it was just a playful crush kinda thing? But then again, out of all my relationships I loved the girl the most so I think there has to be something very very wrong with me..

Anyway, meeting him actually reminded me of the days when I was young and silly and innocent and carefree.. I was only 16 then and didn't really know what love meant. (I'm not sure if I do now anot but hopefully I do la.) Every little sweet thing would make me incredibly happy and every little wrong thing would make me super upset. Every little hug, kiss or 'i miss you' would mean the world to me.

Now, I never know what to believe anymore. After years of meeting jerks and shedding tears over them, I've learnt to be more wary when it comes to love. Hugs and kisses might mean nothing to someone who does them to many girls. 'i miss you' and 'i love you' are just words said without any meaning. Every step has to be taken with caution and I always have to try to remember not to let my heart's guard down.

Why do I say try? Coz this is just the mildly cynical side of me speaking. Coz deep down I am still just the silly 16 year old girl that I was. Coz I really do believe that one day I will meet the one who hugs me coz he really does miss me and kiss me coz he only loves me.

I'm still waiting for my fairytale ending. ;)

p.s I finally found him on fb!!!! But i can't add him coz it would seem stalker-ish (which i am) but this is my soulmate we're talking about!! Those who know me well should know who.