how a conscience is lost

At first, it starts with curiosity. You know it's wrong but you just decide to do it one day just to see how it feels like.

You feel guilty after and it eats at you. But after a long while, you forget the guilt and only remember the fun. So you decide to do it again.

This time you feel less guilty and think of reasons to justify your wrongdoings. The fear of being found out is less; after all, you've done it once before without getting caught.

The time lapses between each incident get shorter and shorter.. Till you don't fear being caught and there's no guilt whatsoever.

That's how you lose your conscience.

And honestly, I think it might feel better than all the things I'm feeling now.